Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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