I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
