Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
