i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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