Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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