At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
