Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
