Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
