So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
