Well apparently he's into motor boating.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
