Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
