LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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