matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
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Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
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my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
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