Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
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I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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