i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
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