if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So squirting runs in the family.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
