she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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