I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
