I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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