i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
