Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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