But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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