I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we're making bets on your personal life
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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