come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
