Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
