you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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