New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize