Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
