Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Never underestimate the power of titties
that may or may not have been my penis.
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