I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Shame - the story of my life.
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