Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
