very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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