I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize