I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
