yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
