Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
