Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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