Already got asked if we're dating
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
