That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
