did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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