But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
