so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
