It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize