I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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