Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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