The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.