my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.