dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Are we still banned from the library?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.