Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!