her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We are all done wearing pants today
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store