I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize