I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.