The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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