I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize