Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize