I am in a vortex of obligation.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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