can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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