O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
