How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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