2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
