i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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