my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
