she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
