she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
