I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
