oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
