I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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