I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize