At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
