so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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